Tutorial Feedback

So far: we have all the footage we need. There is no need to re-shoot which is a huge relief. We’re happy with the shots, and we don’t necessarily need extreme colour grading, as the feel is there already.

A couple of concerns: the footage on the train is quite shaky- might need to stabalise it. We also need to sort out the reflections and light marks from the lens.

The next step is to do a rough cut, and take a look at the continuity sheets to pick out the good scenes.


Critiquing Audio For Film

Here are some notes that I made on Ahmed and Darshan’s audio:

(I have copied and pasted my response that I sent via Facbeook)


  • There should be another phone ringing: maybe a different style ring tone, on top of the original one.
  • The water sound at 2:11 is really fresh sounding, I like it!
  • The dialogue during the toilet scene is much better Darshan, but just at the end of the first part where the girl says “yeah” and it switches to the new scene ; that ends a little abruptly and you can’t hear her finish the word “yeah”. I like the laughing effect as well but i think it should start at the timeframe 2:56 because that’s when you can’t see the mouths of the girls. So the laughing goes on literally just before the music starts, so it ends a bit later , perhaps at the time frame 3:01
  • This is probably what you guys have discussed already but some of the guitar is very loud.
  • Also at the final pier scene where Alison gets up, you can’t hear her panting and the sounds of her in frustration. If you could make them louder that would be great, as you can only hear it slightly.
  • There should be a bit where you can hear Andie’s crying as well. So when she is crying, the music will be quieter, and the sounds of her crying will be louder. Also, then the music takes over just before 8:20 because thats when Andie stops crying
  • Finally i’m not sure if we should hear the train sounds at the end . I think it should just be the instrumental.
  • But apart from that I’m really pleased with it! Nice work guys! I’ve listened to it twice now, but I’ll take a break and listen to it again before early this evening with fresh ears to see if there’s anything else i would suggest!


Deciding On Which Rough Cut To Use

The first rough cut of the film stands at 17 minutes, which is too long. No matter what, it has to be 10 minutes.

Therefore, Dominika has edited two different rough cuts. The first one follows the original script. It’s very tight as it has been cropped by 7 minutes. It’s visually very quick and snappy and the cuts are very fast.

This second edit is based on Jini’s suggestion to get rid of Day 2 office scene, as we have already established where Andie works and how Alison bullies her there.

From the tutorial, Jini’s suggestion was that the most powerful scenes are the book tearing scene and painting scene. She mentioned to concentrate more on the journey of emotions rather than attempting to illustrate the monotony of Andie’s life.

Overall, this second edit follows a completely different structure, but Dominika believes it’s more powerful and makes more sense.

This one begins with Andie at home cooking, whilst Alison is tearing the books. Next, Andie goes to work, Alison is already there. Alison is giving Andie sly looks. Next, Andie is hiding in the toilet. Afterwards, Andie returns home, goes to the kitchen and she starts painting.

Course of action: review both edits, then decide which one to use. Then let Dominika know, so that she can have it ready for Ahmed to work on the sound.


  • A rough cut of the film has been generated.
  • Some concerns from the tutorial is that there may be too many unnecessary shots: for example Day 2 of the office scene may not be needed as it is already established where Andie works.
  • Certain moments linger too much or not enough, so should be shortened.
  • Jini’s view is that the ending is not as powerful as it could be. Instead, we should end with Andie walking away from the pier.
  • With this taken in account, the second draft of the film is in motion, and the concern points will be reviewed and possibly amended.