At the end of summer 2016, I was sure of the fact that I wanted my Final Major Project to be personal, and reflecting my own journey of self-discovery. I scribbled the above note about some pivotal moments in my life that have made me, me. The reason I did this is because, I didn’t just want whatever I made to lack depth, I knew I’d have to search within myself for purpose and meaning. So there you have it: the beginning of ‘The Layers’.
Earlier this evening, Dominika messaged me to say that she has finally received a space on the internal server at uni, so she can start uploading the rushes. This is a huge relief!
She said for now, there’s no need for me to sit in with her in the edit suite, as one of the technicians will be helping her link the files together.
Also, there is the opportunity to take part in making a documentary in a day. Adella’s idea was that we could make a documentary about someone living with Depression. I suggested that we could do a documentary on my experience living with Depression. I also think this would help promote the film, as my Depression is what inspired the story.
I’m a bit nervous in actual fact about exposing myself in a lot of detail, and I’m certainly not used to talking in front of a camera, or talking about myself a lot. But I’m willing to do it, as it saves the time and effort to get to know someone well and then be granted permission to film the
Looking back an old project I did, for the Scriptwriting module in the 2nd year of uni:
My story was about a depressed woman called Hannah who goes on a date because she feels pressured to by her Mother who is concerned that her biological clock is ticking. However, the end of the date is a turning point for Hannah, who decides she deserves to be respected and worthy. So she leaves the date, and she realises that she can craft happiness and discover purpose on her own.
My real intention for the piece was to illustrate that someone’s mental health status or lack of relationship at a certain age doesn’t define them as a person.
For someone that is recovering from depression, the key to recovery is small steps. The tendency to stay in bed all day is huge. but for a depressed person, doing small things slowly like taking a shower and having a small stretch can be so beneficial.
In this story, Hannah’s Mother is a big support network, and so she’s very grateful to her for all that she’s helped with and so doesn’t want to disappoint her by not going on a date.
Reflecting on this piece, I don’t think that the script does justice for how it feels to recover from Depression. I don’t think that the reader would feel enough compassion for the protagonist, nor do I feel the ending was resolved in a way that I think justifies Hannah’s want.
With the piece, I tried to put myself in Hannah’s shoes, but I made her ten years older than me, because there was the risk of being too involved in the character. Anyway, the whole process of deliberately thinking in a depressed person’s view had a negative impact on me. It was backed up by medical facts, but these traits are similar to my own, and I felt myself going into a negative spiral.